I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
