Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
