like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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