spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize