Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
