let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
