You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
