so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
