So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
