break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
