becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
