after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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