My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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