Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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