We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
