I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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