My brain says no but my pants say off.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
