Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Houston, we have a squirter
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
