also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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