By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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