The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
