You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
