I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize