what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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