Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
