I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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