First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize