He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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