I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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