Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
