Non-Jews are for practice
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize
