I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
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