Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize