Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
