I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Your cock deserves a montage
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
