we have officially lost it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
