I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
