look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Damn victory sex feels great
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
