So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
