exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
