No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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