a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's official drugs can't kill me
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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