Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
