we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
