If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
