so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Randomize
