didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I need water and some morals
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
