I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
did you just send me my own nude
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
