Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
