Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
