I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you made out with another girl for some wings
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize