nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize