I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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