I need help removing her.
You can't special order awesome
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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