only if we run a train.
done.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
