the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
