I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize