I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
