these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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