MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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