I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
