Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
